Confessions
by EternallyEC
Summary: Natalie saves herself from George, but the close call is one too many for John to handle and he breaks down. One shot


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing; don't sue.

**Dedication: **To Tina for being so cooperative with the muse, and happy belated/early birthday!

**Title: **Confessions

"John, I'm fine." Natalie pulled her jacket tightly closed, hiding the evidence of what had almost happened to her. Her shirt was in shreds and her cheek was red from where he had slapped her when she'd fought back.

She could see the way John was trembling, and she reached out a hand, gently touching his shoulder. He jerked away from her touch roughly, the trembling becoming even more violent.

"Natalie, just—don't." Natalie's eyes filled with tears and she slowly turned to go. She hadn't taken more than two steps to the door when she turned back around and saw his shoulders shaking as he silently cried.

She was more ashamed of herself in that moment than she ever had been before. All of the times that he had comforted her, many times with her making harder than it should have been, and she had nearly left him there. She tossed her hair back and walked over to him, pulling him into her arms.

John clung to her like a lifeline as he cried, and Natalie gently rubbed his back, her other hand moving to gently stroke his hair. After a moment, he pulled back. "I'm sorry," he whispered, ashamed that he had lost control in front of her. She slowly wiped the tears from his eyes with her thumb as she shushed him.

"Don't be sorry for breaking down. It happens to everyone—" Her voice trailed off as he shook his head.

"No. I'm sorry that I was stubborn, that I wouldn't let you be a part of this because I was afraid of seeing you hurt. Look what happened anyway." Natalie opened her mouth to reply but he held up his hand, stopping her.

"That's not true either. I am sorry about that, but what I'm most sorry about is that I almost didn't get the chance to tell you that I love you." Natalie gasped softly, her eyes filling with tears as he reached out and reverently touched her cheek.

"I've wanted you since the moment I met you, but I knew I didn't stand a chance against Cristian. I started to fall in love with you as I got to know you, but I had to distance myself because of the job. By the time everything with Flynn had gone down I knew I had fallen—and that I couldn't leave you alone to face the kind of grief I had gone through while losing Caitlin."

Natalie slowly moved her hand to cover his, holding in place as she shook her head. "Then why did it take so long for you to admit you felt anything for me? Why did you cling to Caitlin so tightly?"

"Guilt," he answered in a whisper. "I realized after falling in love with you that I had never loved her—not in the way she deserved. I'm not sure she knew that, but I think that on some level she must have realized that something wasn't right. I couldn't bear the thought, so I tightened my hold on her memory and forced myself to push you away in an attempt to prove myself wrong, that I had loved her."

"But I wouldn't let you push me away." He smiled and shook his head. "No, you wouldn't. That stubborn streak of yours—it saved me. God only knows where I'd be if you had just backed off and let me have my space. Probably dead in a failed FBI sting somewhere… Before I met you, my goal in life was to catch the bad guys, no matter what the cost to my safety. You changed that."

She shook her head. "No, you changed that. Nobody can change how someone else lives their life." A small smile played across his lips as he countered, "But every once in a while a very special person can come along and inspire you to rethink every choice you've ever made and re-evaluate the way you're living your life. Sometimes they can even bring back the parts of you that you thought were gone forever."

"John," Natalie whispered.

He swallowed. "Yes?"

"Kiss me."

He smiled as he leaned forward, catching her mouth in a tender kiss full of passion as their arms wrapped around each other.

After a moment Natalie pulled back, keeping her arms entwined around his neck.

"By the way…"

He chuckled. "What?"

"I love you too." She leaned forward and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

He smiled, recognizing his words from what seemed like a lifetime ago. "Oh, you're not?"

"Nope. And nobody is going to take me from you, because they will end up like George." She smiled and he returned it, unable to believe that they were smiling about her almost being raped. But she was here, she was safe and somehow it didn't seem wrong. It felt... right. Like they were celebrating her being alive and virtually unharmed.

"You did do a pretty good job on him," he admitted.

"'Pretty good'? That doctor said I probably put him out of commission for months—maybe years," she retorted, still smiling.

He smiled. "You were amazing," he rectified and was rewarded by her most dazzling smile.

"Now that's more like it. But—"

He leaned forward and kissed her again. It was only a few seconds before she pulled back.

"Are you trying to shut me up?"

"Is it working?"

Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "I don't know—I think you should keep trying," she murmured, suddenly breathless as he brought his mouth crashing down onto hers once more.

FIN


End file.
